“The Man Who Can Do No Wrong Even When He Clearly Does”

Step 1. Be Elon Musk.

Step 2. Buy Twitter for $45 billion.

Step 3. Tweet.

Step 4. Never, ever apologize for anything.

Now just sit back, soak in the sun on some private island, sip on your cocktail, check your stocks and bank balances, and wait. Of course, your tweets may or may not have an impact on how long the process takes, so you may not wish to stop or have some unpaid interns handle it for you. Regardless, your mileage may vary. Now, there’s a very strong chance that you are unable to overcome the requirements for Step 1, but I have faith in you!

Once in the “Zone” though, Step 2 is likely even more difficult, but stay strong. You’ll just have to get together about $50 billion and buy Twitter. The rub there is that some other guy also named Elon Musk has recently bought another company called Twitter also for $45 billion, but an extra $5B should square things up in no time! Remember, don’t slouch and smile…

As for Step 3, tweeting has never been a problem for you. My god, if there was a good version of the phrase ‘verbal diarrhea’, that would be my catch phrase for you!

Elon Musk would saunter by and I’d say, “There goes Mr. [GOOD VERSION OF VERBAL DIARRHEA]” and people would know I’m talking about you.

Which brings me to the final step, Step 4: Never, ever apologize for anything. And why should you!? I mean you are one of the wealthiest humans on the planet (I’m not sure where you’re at on the rich people’s Bank Balance Olympics® after going into the hole for $45B, but I’m sure it’s still quite high) and you didn’t get there by doing little more than nothing, did you!

NO!

You, sir, are an ALPHA!! They need to be shown who’s really, truly the boss and who’s gonna be callin’ the shots from here on out. Better yet, just do whatever you want! Like with all those Twitter employees you’ve fired violating FTC rules on advanced notice requirements for companies the size of Twitter. But that’s just dumb poor people stuff that doesn’t apply to you, Mr. GVoVD! Wow!! That would make a fantastic bumpersticker for SpaceX’s Crew Dragon!!!

That’d look fantastic in space!

But I digress. Once you’ve fulfilled all of these requirements, you should be all set. I truly hope that we’ve met, nay, exceeded your huge, multi-national corporation dismantling and irresponsible currency disposal services today.