I was combing through my dusty, old writing folder on my NAS where my fiction traditionally goes to die and was reminded of all the projects that sprung briefly from my once fertile mindscape. As I looked them over I felt sadness over so many ideas I allowed to die on the vine. I don’t recall where I was going with this one, but I found the core idea rather hilarious in just a few paragraphs. It’s rather clear I was inspired by Moby Dick, though.
This is unedited, so there is a big plot hole, some incomplete world building, and one $10 word I should not have used. I have added it to my Ellipsus account, so maybe I’ll work on an updated and more complete version. Enjoy - TKN. #fiction #writing
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Call me Dick.
From a noticeably young age I had an overwhelming desire to be in law enforcement.
It all made perfect sense. I wanted to be involved in civics, but the other paths were fraught with peril. Become a politician and every little nook and cranny is thoroughly inspected and your job description requires inaction. Unappealing. Becoming a lawyer would involve years of costly schooling and adherence to a tight code of conduct. A lot of really hard work to only be faced with insanely narrow options for innovation. Choosing the capitalism path was equally unpleasant, being the lowest hanging fruit meant it was overflowing with puffed-up neanderthal charlatans.
That left being a cop.
Being a police officer meant exhibiting values I already had in spades; an unwavering sense of duty and justice, a devotion to truth in all its forms, and a level of personal responsibility that allows you to make the difficult choices without hesitation. It would be the closest one could get to a lifetime of military service without actually joining. It could lead to becoming the Top Cop of the Nation, the Attorney General of the United Fucking States of America.
“YEAH,” I shouted, startling the group of tourists milling around the lobby. I lowered my raised fist and gently cooed apologies for my outburst and the mild fervor my adulation had precipitated settled back to the usual background murmur of the tiled open space.
I can recall the exact moment like it was yesterday, the moment my nickname would stick with me for the rest of my life.
A long time ago, I can recall the exact moment, flush with cash and deeply interested in fighting crime, I went deliberately to seek an engagement in local policing. Never mind that I was only fourteen and had just robbed a small convenience store. I needed to be a cop, and that’s what I was going to be. Unsurprisingly, I was turned down at the police academy and, sad to say, was also recognized by a beat cop who just happened to answer the call to attend to my earlier felonious indiscretion.
